Getting lectured...

[lecruz]

For some reason, I didn't anticipated others (strangers and friends) to be lecturing me on riding. I got my first lecture this weekend. I was at a party and just met this person. She used to be a rider (not sure if passenger or rider or both) and lectured me about how dangerous it is and proceeded to show me all of her scars and burns from the crash. My bias before was that only non-riders lectured about the "dangers of motorcyles"! When I say lecture, it's more of the tone of trying to convince me to stop or to say "you really don't know what you're getting yourself into." I can't help but feel insulted. I'm educating myself as much as I can about risk and doing everything that is within my control to lower my risk.

Am I just being a naive new rider and really not understanding what I'm getting into? Why do some people feel the need to lecture others? How do some of you handle this? Does this happen to you often? How can you listen to an important message without getting annoyed by feeling like you're getting lectured?

[demenshea]

For some reason, I didn't anticipated others (strangers and friends) to be lecturing me on riding. I got my first lecture this weekend. I was at a party and just met this person. She used to be a rider (not sure if passenger or rider or both) and lectured me about how dangerous it is and proceeded to show me all of her scars and burns from the crash. My bias before was that only non-riders lectured about the "dangers of motorcyles"! When I say lecture, it's more of the tone of trying to convince me to stop or to say "you really don't know what you're getting yourself into." I can't help but feel insulted. I'm educating myself as much as I can about risk and doing everything that is within my control to lower my risk.

Am I just being a naive new rider and really not understanding what I'm getting into? Why do some people feel the need to lecture others? How do some of you handle this? Does this happen to you often? How can you listen to an important message without getting annoyed by feeling like you're getting lectured?

Well, first let me say that the world in general knows better...:lol: Everyone feels the need to espouse their philosophy on numerous subjects, and you just got and earful of one woman's feelings. Get a thick skin, if you want to proceed and succeed at this sport as everyone you come in contact with, sans other dedicated riders will fill your head with the dangers and risks. It simply goes with the territory. Forget feeling insulted and move ahead.

You seem to be approaching the sport of motorcycle riding by gaining knowledge first and then taking that knowledge to experience. What better way to begin? Use your common sense to dismiss people that are simply trying to scare you and measure your own risk with your inner barometer. Read all you can on riding, Proficient Motorcycling formost and find a mentor if one is available in your area. I happen to know that Dangerous Curves (http://www.dangerouscurves.org/) in the bay area hosts beginner rides as does South Bay Riders (http://www.southbayriders.com/forums/forum.php) look in the group rides section. Get out and meet some other riders that will support your end means and forget those that just want to take you down.

Smile and dismiss them, it's easier that way!! :hug2: Also, remember most people are wanting you to keep safe, they really aren't just being mean.

[ridingAK]

Hmmm, I can't help but wonder if she was wearing any protective gear if she has a lot of scars and burns. Of course injuries can happen, even with gear, but I'm going to guess with the attitude she displayed that she was not wearing protective gear when she had her crash. That alone should tell you that you likely have a more mature and responsible understanding of motorcycling than she had.

[lecruz]

Use your common sense to dismiss people that are simply trying to scare you and measure your own risk with your inner barometer. Also, remember most people are wanting you to keep safe, they really aren't just being mean.

I love the way you phrased that first sentence. So true. I also like the second one. I used to be a person that would nag others about riding being dangerous. I was only concerned for them. Gotta remember that one :):

rAK, nope she was not wearing gear except for a helmet. I responded with, "don't worry. I'll always wear my gear!" I really do take that seriously. She said that even with gear and if you're safe, other drivers may not be. Which is true...

[Follow]

Hmmm, I can't help but wonder if she was wearing any protective gear if she has a lot of scars and burns. Of course injuries can happen, even with gear, but I'm going to guess with the attitude she displayed that she was not wearing protective gear when she had her crash. That alone should tell you that you likely have a more mature and responsible understanding of motorcycling than she had.
I'm with you on this also was she someone who had no respect for being on the road, did she ever take the time to take classes? was she riding outside of her ability? was she riding drunk?:D:

Take it with a grain of salt and now you are aware that there are those that like to run at the mouth as Demenshea said "there Philosophy" keep in mind everyone including myself has an opinion/philosophy they all like to share their experience or stories whether you want to here what they have to say or not.

[ImaSoftT]

I think some of the people that "lecture" on the dangers of riding are the ones that would love to ride a motorcycle but are afraid to, and they feel the need to discourage others that are riding, so they themselves don't feel so....:shrug:.

Riding a bike can be dangerous, so can driving a car, swimming in water over our heads, skiing, heck even walking. If we all lived our lives only doing the things that were safe, we would have never gotten out of our cradles. So just take the "lectures" for what they are worth and then go ahead and live your life as fully as YOU see fit.

[PattiS]

I had a lecture recently that was kind of like that - along the lines of "are you INSANE? it's so dangerous! I rode for a year and I was terrified the whole time!" I was polite and kind of slid away, but I know she never took the MSF course, and my feeling is that if she was terrified the whole time she was riding, it's good that she isn't riding anymore. Everyone has an opinion, from telling you shouldnt ride to telling you you're not going fast enough, or don't need to wear gear, or should have a smaller bike, or a bigger bike, or it's not feminine to ride, or you're too small, or too big, or too old, and you just have to make up your own mind. (It reminds me of when I was pregnant, and there was a flood of unsolicited advice from complete strangers.)

[Unforgiven]

Unfortunately, some people who crash never get over it emotionally and some take it upon themselves to "try and save the world" from what they experienced. I don't think their intentions are how it is perceived. Don't let them get to you. Wear your gear and be prepared for a crash.

[Gitana]

I'm nowhere near as polite as some of the folks here. I'm pretty straightforward about shutting down conversations of any type that I (a) don't want to hear, or (b) that are none of the other person's business. But then again, I don't get a lot of people yapping at me in the first place. I can look pretty intimidating when I want to. It has its benefits at times. My favorite retort to someone who is yapping at me about motorcycling being dangerous is, "You weren't raised right, were you?" That shuts them up mid-sentence, usually.

[Unforgiven]

I'm nowhere near as polite as some of the folks here. I'm pretty straightforward about shutting down conversations of any type that I (a) don't want to hear, or (b) that are none of the other person's business. But then again, I don't get a lot of people yapping at me in the first place. I can look pretty intimidating when I want to. It has its benefits at times. My favorite retort to someone who is yapping at me about motorcycling being dangerous is, "You weren't raised right, were you?" That shuts them up mid-sentence, usually.

LMBO! I could just picture you telling someone to "Shut their pie hole". :rofl:

[Luna Tique]

There's no debating the fact that you're pretty vulnerable on a motorcycle and IF you you were to get into an accident, you're probably more likely to be hurt than you would be in a car.

That said..... nothing in life is perfectly safe. I'm not sure who said it first, but in order to truly live, you must risk dying.

You must be alert and do everything you can to be safe.
NEVER ride without your gear. Even when it's hot. Even when you're in a hurry Even when your only going a little ways up the road.
No matter how many years you have been riding practice and hone your skills Those skills could someday safe your life.


In the end only you can decide if the risk/reward ratio is right for you. For me it most certainly is.

[ridingAK]

Well said LT, and I fully agree.

[Queen]

Most people love to hear themselves talk. When I'm in a situation where I don't feel like talking at all I just ask the other person their opinion about something, I'm guaranteed to not have to talk for a long time... as long as I say "uh huh" every few minutes I'm gold.

[ridingAK]

:lol:
I'll keep that in mind when we eventually meet in person! :D:

[Queen]

:lol:
I'll keep that in mind when we eventually meet in person! :D:
:roflmao:

[Lion_Lady]

I was a Barrista at a coffee shop when I started riding. I'd park my bike in sight of the window. Amazing the number of "lectures" folks tried to give me, once they learned the bike out front was mine. :devillaugh:

Didn't encounter anybody that was so bold as to show me their scars, but plenty of folks knew someone who'd crashed, or knew someone who knew someone... you get the idea. My standard response was, "I'd bet that that person was doing one or more of the following when they crashed: 1. Learned from a friend (or taught themself), 2. Riding more bike than they could handle, 3. Riding beyond their ability, 4. Riding impaired. And finally, not wearing proper gear.

I'd follow up with, "Yup. Its dangerous, I've taken the motorcycle safety course. I've started on a small, easy to handle bike, I always ride like the folks in cars cannot see me and/or are trying to kill me."

When I crashed my bike and was working with a cast on my left forearm. Folks wanted to know if I was gonna give up riding. I said no, because I knew what I'd screwed up, so I wasn't likely to repeat the mistake.

I have to say, I love Queen's response, "you weren't raised right, were you?" Priceless!!! I think I could pull that one off, myself.

P

[Astir]

Mark laughs at me because when I eat something I am not sure about, I say 'that is interesting'. Apparently I also have a 'that is interesting' look I use in these situations. Guess it is years of conditioning being around certain people... :rofl:

http://mybroadband.co.za/photos/data/500/forum_1e16a609_blank_stare.jpg

[Gitana]

The reason why I say, "You weren't raised right, were you?" is because people who are raised with manners don't take it upon themselves to make comments like what y'all are describing.

[Queen]

The reason why I say, "You weren't raised right, were you?" is because people who are raised with manners don't take it upon themselves to make comments like what y'all are describing.
On the flipside... I make a point of telling moms of well behaved kids "you sure are raising him/her right". :thumbsup:

[Calif Girl]

When someone starts telling me how dangerous riding is I usally reply with something like, "My parents put me on a motorcycle and a gun in my hand when I was 5. Who would have ever known what they taught me to do at 5 would be paying my bills as an adult?"

[demenshea]

When someone starts telling me how dangerous riding is I usally reply with something like, "My parents put me on a motorcycle and a gun in my hand when I was 5. Who would have ever known what they taught me to do at 5 would be paying my bills as an adult?"

:lol::lol::lol::thumbsup:

[Luna Tique]

When someone starts telling me how dangerous riding is I usally reply with something like, "My parents put me on a motorcycle and a gun in my hand when I was 5. Who would have ever known what they taught me to do at 5 would be paying my bills as an adult?"

Good answer :thumbup: :lol:

[KansasKawboy]

On the flipside... I make a point of telling moms of well behaved kids "you sure are raising him/her right". :thumbsup:
I have got that. We were in a restaurant with our 3 and 1 year olds and an older couple stopped by our table on their way out and told us that we had the best behaved kids they had ever seen in a restaurant. That made our evening.

[KansasKawboy]

When someone starts telling me how dangerous riding is I usally reply with something like, "My parents put me on a motorcycle and a gun in my hand when I was 5. Who would have ever known what they taught me to do at 5 would be paying my bills as an adult?"
:rofl: I love it!

[ChellyV]

I have heard lectures as well... especially when I mentioned that I am taking class next month. I had someone in my family actually pull me to the side and try and show me videos of accidents and how irresponsible bike riders are and blah, blah, blah. After about five minutes of conversation she started to sound like the 'Peanuts' teacher. I just nodded and said "ok thanks for the input I will keep that in mind when I am buying my bike" and walked off.

[ridingAK]

Whaawuwhaaawuwhaa! :rofl:

[Follow]

Whaawuwhaaawuwhaa! :rofl:
+1, can someone find a video on driving in a car or walking down the street and getting hurt....Please and then lets show the video to the Bike rider sceptics. Good Golly Gee Wizzz.

[ChellyV]

Yep and everytime I mention it to a friend who isn't fond of motorcycles they just get that OMG stare on their faces and say something but it has not swayed my mind AT ALL!!!!

I do love the fact that NONE of my guy friends *including the boyfriend* who also rides has had NOTHING negative to say about it. In fact all of my guy friends who do ride want to see me get good so we can go riding, lol! :yahoo:

[kari-star]

When I started riding I got a lot of lectures and cautions too - and while most of them were genuine and well-meaning, when I talked to my partner about them he said HE never got that kind of warning from people - after an informal survey it turns out that MANY of my dude friends didn't get any warnings from their friends and families (and random strangers) while MOST of the women do! I hate that.

y'all, just because I have OVARIES doesn't make me incapable of evaluating the risks, mitigating them where possible, and accepting the level of risk I am comfortable with.

[Follow]

Yep and everytime I mention it to a friend who isn't fond of motorcycles they just get that OMG stare on their faces and say something but it has not swayed my mind AT ALL!!!!

I do love the fact that NONE of my guy friends *including the boyfriend* who also rides has had NOTHING negative to say about it. In fact all of my guy friends who do ride want to see me get good so we can go riding, lol! :yahoo:

I like riding with all my guy friends, most are very skilled riders and walking around with them makes me feel special:lol: can you imagine the looks little ol me with a gang of bike riding guys. Anyways I never get the lecture from them and they say they never get them except for one and it's a family thing with him. My family grew up with bikes so no lecture for me from them and that includes cousins Aunts and Uncles.
Now I do like riding with my girl friends too but most do not ride the twisties the way I do, so when I am with them I usually ride the Harley and keep the scraping to a minimum. But as a group we usually get the "oh it's so cool you girls ride, never a lecture". I would say those are done when your alone.

[KansasKawboy]

When I bought my bike all my coworkers thought it was cool except one guy who said "I hope you do'nt kill yourself" I told him that was the plan.

[Follow]

When I bought my bike all my coworkers thought it was cool except one guy who said "I hope you do'nt kill yourself" I told him that was the plan. Good answer.

[PattiS]

I realized it's a lot like being pregnant - everyone feels very free to weigh on on what you should/shouldn't be doing then, too.

[Follow]

I realized it's a lot like being pregnant - everyone feels very free to weigh on on what you should/shouldn't be doing then, too.
Wow, very good analagy.:clapping:

[maximoto]

I've had more than my fair share of stops during my travels where total stangers go out of their way to tell me about all the evils that have befallen their friends or someone they heard of, yikes.

Is it because some people are used to and forgiving of guy's taking the "risks" doing "crazy things" and the women being the level headed "safety minded" ones?
Women on motorcycles turns their idea of an ideal world and shakes it up.
IMHO those folks are in need of a good shake up.

Enjoying my motorcycle adventures and hope you all enjoy yours too! :D: